Main > Living > Relationships > Domestic violence
Without love, the love of the bliss of ignorance, and of martyrdom, there is no overlooking of unreasonable behaviour.
kellyjones00 (593)
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Main > Living > Relationships > Domestic violence
The passive-aggressive person likes to egg-on the 'explodingly angry' partner, because they like to see the deeply remorseful, guilt-crippled person crawling.
kellyjones00 (593)
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Main > Living > Relationships > Domestic violence
The dynamics of anger are easy to understand. The more that an angry violent person abuses others, the more enslaved to guilt and demoralisation, and the more hated and needed the apparently pure, sinless victims. Martyrdom is therefore a necessary component of domestic violence - get rid of that, and the abuse stops.
kellyjones00 (593)
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Main > Living > Negotiations
General:- Be willing to negotiate in the first place. For example, if you're buying something expensive, be prepared to ask for a discount or extra service of some sort.
- Don't get emotionally involved. Be professional.
- Don't let others dictate "the rules". If you want to change an item in a contract before signing it, then do so.
- Never be the first person to name a figure. For example, if you're asked "What's your hourly rate?", you could respond with something like "What's your budget for this contract?".
- Ask for more than you expect to get.
- Let them believe the final decision doesn't rest with you. A skilled negotiator will always want to talk to the person who has the final decision, but don't let them do it. Tell them you'll discuss it and get back with an answer tomorrow. Ask them to make sure that's their best offer you can take to your "authority figure". This is also a great strategy for preventing people rushing you.
- Don't act too interested.
- Don't leave the other person feeling as if they've been cheated. Most negotiations should leave both parties feeling satisfied with the outcome. Be willing to give up things that don't really matter to you in order to create a feeling of goodwill.
thesource (378)
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Main > Living > Annoyances
Hitmen: Occasionally, someone might be paid by a mafia syndicate or government agency to kill you. Some people just aren't very nice. The hitman or woman contracted could be anyone. Chuck Barris was the world-famous host of The Gong Show gameshow in the 70s, and doubled as a hitman at night, completing 33 paid kills over a decade. His secret? Whenever anyone saw him they said "Hey Chuck! I saw you last night on TV!" After that, they were cactus.
myxlfidian (150)
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Main > Living > Annoyances > Tele-marketing and surveys
Charity organisations: I hate to say this but "Buyer Beware". When you give once, they will call usually every few weeks. If you hate that kind of regular pestering, consider saying you are late to go to a job interview or something to get out of the first call. If they think you don't have a job, you won't be top of their list, and if you have to go to something that important, there's no way they can hold you back.
myxlfidian (150)
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Main > Living > Accommodation > Settlement design
Lifestyle: Indolence and genius are normal. Some examples of this in human settlements:
- sleeping or resting outdoors,
- lack of territoriality,
- minimal lawns and mowing,
- home-kitchens are honesty-system cafes,
- there are no pets but there are contained scientific experiments,
- walkabouts are common, but travel is not, since there is no escapism,
- clothes are worn until they're threadbare, and no one wears art (except children),
- there are no signs of religious beliefs or superstitions, but there are temples to Nature where children are reared, and in hospitals.
Panoculus (40)
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Main > Living > Food & drink > Food and cooking
For a refreshing tea try dry-heating herbs and fruits lightly, then infusing them. E.g. orange or mandarin peel, rosemary, mint, ginger peel, cinnamon, rose-hips.
kellyjones00 (593)
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Main > Living > Living on a budget > Shopping
Buying online (in Australia): A lot of things are as cheap as half-price in the US with current almost 1:1 exchange rates. Add a small postage fee and you are still looking at a substantial saving. Be careful of delivery times however: from the west coast (LA, California) is much quicker as they are always sending stuff to Hawaii anyway, from where Sydney is an well-trodden freight route. I recommend Techsunny.com - I have received technology products within a week from their LA warehouse - and many items are not available in Australia. Try to get a recommendation from a friend on delivery times as you can wait as long as three months for sea shipping as I have on most occasions before.
myxlfidian (150)
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Main > Living > Grooming
Tip: Get over yourself.
Diogenes (25)
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Main > Living > Food & drink > Food and cooking > Cooking with the Sun
General tips:
- Adjust the cooker to face the sun every 20-30 minutes (or in advance). For this reason, it is difficult to burn food by forgetfulness.
- Wear polarised sunglasses, and don't look directly at the white "flames" reflected back.
- Ensure there is a concentration of "white flames" on the bottom of your black saucepan for greatest heat.
- Use black-coated, thinnish, light cookware, such as hardened anodized aluminium.
kellyjones00 (593)
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Main > Living > Living on a budget > Cheap meals
Eat like an Italian contadino: Farming folk often have just 1 or 2 ingredients per meal: fresh garden vegies and pasta. But they add condiments at table: olive oil, salt and pepper, a small bowl of freshly grated parmesan, and crusty white bread.
Panoculus (40)
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Main > Living > Living on a budget > Cheap meals
Buy plant-foods grown in your area in season for better prices and quality. It is also healthier to eat foods of your climate.
Panoculus (40)
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Main > Living > Living on a budget > Cheap meals
Toast stale bread.
Panoculus (40)
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Main > Living > Living on a budget > Cheap meals
Fast-growing salad vegies: rocket, radish, parsley, chicory, bokchoy, spinach, silverbeet, nasturtiums. The more flavoursome and pungent, the less snails will eat them.
Panoculus (40)
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Main > Living > Living on a budget
Dental Prevention: Brush and floss daily. Purchase a dental tartar scraper, and use that weekly or more often. Before brushing, rinse with hydrogen peroxide, then rinse with hydrogen peroxide again before flossing. Brush and floss with the bubbles still going - so not rinse with water first.
ElizabethI (6)
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Main > Living > Living on a budget > Cheap meals
Go fishing.
Panoculus (40)
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Main > Living > Living on a budget
Housing: If you want to own your own house and land, you should look in places that are too far away from cities for commuters to travel to work. Try and find a large block with good soil, so you can grow your own food.
Kevin Solway (173)
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Main > Living > Money > Shopping
Whenever I see a salesperson who is attractive, young and appears intelligent and motivated, I know that they need this person to sell the product. Without them, it wouldn't be good enough on its own. Also, I imagine myself losing untold sums of money by being sucked into them, so that my defences are up high. I never fall for them when I have that vision or image, but if the product is good, I can still buy it. However, the more attractive the salesperson, the more superfluous or overpriced the product.
myxlfidian (150)
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Main > Living > Living on a budget > Cheap meals
Hot dogs: These were definitely created to bust hunger, whatever flaws they may nonetheless have. They are also almost always lower in cost than most alternatives. I get the feeling it takes the stomach longer to process it than other foods because by weight you would not think it would be that filling. Could be like a muffin.
myxlfidian (150)
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Main > Living > Work
Bosses from other countries: If your boss is from another country, ask for their permission to record any conversations you may have in private. If the meeting is about firing you or not renewing your contract, the boss may not know about laws against discrimination. Always have a handheld tape recorded at work ready to go to record any private conversations as there are no witnesses and in a legal case all you will have is hearsay. If your boss is early 30s or younger and from a non-First World country, chances are he or she has little respect for or knowledge of workplace laws in your country, and you may be able to apply for compensation. The boss may not be malicious, just following his country's values which are radically different to the Western World in most cases.
myxlfidian (150)
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Main > Living > Annoyances > Jehovah's witnesses
Say "Can you please just put me on the list of people whose houses you don't go to anymore?"
myxlfidian (150)
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Main > Living > Annoyances > Tele-marketing and surveys
Say you are busy right now but if you give me your home number I'll call you back. When they say they can't do that say "So you don't like people calling you at home?" When they say no, say "Well now you know how I feel!" and hang up.
myxlfidian (150)
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Main > Living > Music > Composition
If the piece doesn't come to you as a gift, it's probably going to be very hard to discover, but you may get there.
myxlfidian (150)
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Main > Living > Money > Credit & store cards > Paying debts
Pre-scheduling payments: The longer you have a payment scheduled online, the more real it is and the more you can deal with and accommodate it. I recommend you set up online access for all your credit cards. Nine times out of ten the electronic statement for the previous month is released on the first day of the new cycle, and this will tell you due date, total amount and everything else the paper one will, only about 2-3 weeks earlier. Schedule your payment based on that document online and you will not get any nasty surprises when the bills arrive in the mail.
myxlfidian (150)
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Main > Living > Money > Bills
Bills: The secret of paying them is to allow for them in advance. As soon as they arrive, factor them in to your financial equation as soon as possible (i.e. within that day or the next few days). Then the rest of your expenditure will bend to accommodate it. With credit cards, you can find out through online statements how much you will owe and by what date, well in advance of the paper bill arriving. Never miss an opportunity to face bills square in the eye from day one. The sooner the better. The broke people always pretend the bills aren't there, and go merrily spending up until the final day.
myxlfidian (150)
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Main > Living > Accommodation > Budget accommodation > Facilities
Telecommunications: Cheap options might include post restante (snail-mail), pre-paid cards in public phone-booths, pre-paid mobile, battery-charged wireless telephones, amateur radio, and community internet centres.
kellyjones00 (593)
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Main > Living > Accommodation > Budget accommodation > Facilities
Washing: Use two buckets, keeping one for washing food and face, the other for washing the rest of the body and dirty clothes. Pour dirty water into an area with thirsty non-edible plants. Use biodegradable soaps.
kellyjones00 (593)
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Main > Living > Accommodation > Budget accommodation > Facilities
Heating: Use as little 'active' heating as possible, by insulating, facing glass windows towards the sun, and choosing a wind-protected warm site. Then use warm clothes. As last resort, try a small methylated-spirits or kerosene burner to provide active heating.
kellyjones00 (593)
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Main > Living > Living on a budget
Grow your own food as much as possible. As the cost of fuel rises, the price of food in shops will only increase.
Kevin Solway (173)
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Main > Living > Living on a budget
Cheap land: In most cities you can find landlocked parcels of land. They have owners on all sides and no ingress. You can buy those parcels of land for very little money. You wouldn't be able to get a vehicle to the property but you could get there by foot. You could move a trailer onto it and plant evergreens around it to block the view. If you do it discreetly no one would ever care.
Kevin Solway (173)
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Main > Living > Food & drink > Food and cooking > Refrigeration
Freezing food: To store perishable foods, they need to be 'deep-frozen', meaning, frozen hard as a rock. It slows microbes and enzymes down to a dormant state, and the food won't decompose.
kellyjones00 (593)
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Main > Living > Food & drink > Food and cooking > Refrigeration
Freezers: Bar refrigerators are not intended for deep-freezing, as the freezer section is at the top of the frig. Turning the thermostat to 'coldest' will freeze a few items rock-hard, but not all. Also, the rest of the food stored in the refrigerator will be half-frozen or get freezer-burn.
kellyjones00 (593)
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Main > Living > Environment
Think local!: Try, when you can, to buy food that's been produced, grown, or raised as close to your home as possible. Much of our food is now grown and processed in fewer and fewer locations, meaning it has to travel further to reach the average consumer's refrigerator. Food kilometres are a measure of the distance food is transported between production - for example, the farm - and consumption - you.
myxlfidian (150)
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Main > Living > Environment
Bag it up!: Environmental groups estimate that over 500 billion plastic bags are used each year, approximately 6.9 billion plastic bags used by Australian consumers alone, exacting a huge toll on the environment. They consume energy to manufacture, create litter, are devastating to marine life and contribute to landfill waste. So next time you ask for a plastic bag, ask yourself: "do I really need this bag?" Each environmentally friendly canvas tote bag eliminates hundreds of plastic bags - and they look a lot cooler, too!
myxlfidian (150)
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Main > Living > Living on a budget > Shopping
Stack it!: Do you sometimes go to the supermarket and see a favourite canned food item on special, but think you shouldn't buy many because of storage issues? You know they won't reach their use by date but you just don't know if your pantry can fit 15 cans. Cans are designed by the manufacturers to be stackable (the bottom diameter is slightly less than the top diameter). So you can store large amounts in relatively small areas, and not have to go shopping for basics more frequently than you need to, saving "stacks" of time, energy and money in fuel!
myxlfidian (150)
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Main > Living > Food & drink > Food and cooking > Pressure Cookers
Modern cookers have several safety mechanisms to ensure steam can always escape. ALSO, The best cookers prevent opening the lid when steam is built-up inside, e.g. lid held closed by steam pressure.
Check that the rubber-ring seal on the inside rim of the lid is in good condition. Also, do not block the vents during cooking, e.g. frothy foods.
kellyjones00 (593)
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Main > Living > Food & drink > Food and cooking > Pressure Cookers
Pressure cooking is a very good idea. It cuts 60-70% of cooking time (and electricity), as well as water.
kellyjones00 (593)
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Main > Living > Food & drink > Food and cooking > Preserves, pickles, fermenting, etc.
Panir: Very tasty, easy-to-make. A cheap alternative to tofu. To serve 4 people:
- Heat 1L. whole-cream milk to 80 deg. Celsius.
- Add lemon or lime juice, 1 teaspoon at a time until curds form. Stir. Leave to cool for 1/2 hour.
- Pour into a clean cheese-cloth lined bowl. Make a "pudding" sack, squeeze water out. Rinse under cold water.
- Optional: Place a heavy weight on the "pud", leave to soak in cold water for 2 hours. The more water pressed out, the firmer the cheese. For a square block, place the pud into a holey box before pressing.
- Cut into blocks (pan fry), crumble (like fetta in spinach filo parcels or "panak panir"), or slice and marinate for steaks.
kellyjones00 (593)
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Main > Living > Clothing
Buy clothing to fit your body when you're healthy and sane. Then new clothes are only needed when old ones wear out, or when taking medications that cause weight-gain. Buy long-lasting clothes, that still fit if you lose weight, e.g. belt-loops, draw-strings on waist, pull-in cuffs, etc. Stretchy material eventually loses its elasticity.
kellyjones00 (593)
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Main > Living > Clothing
Belts: wider belts are less likely to rip. Most belt loops are 3-4cm long. Real leather is stronger than fake leather. Woven belts have more notch-options than belts with punched holes.
kellyjones00 (593)
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Main > Living > Clothing
For warmth: Wear a beanie, and scarf, as much heat is lost from the head. Choose clothes with a tighter weave, and thicker yarn. Wool and some synthetic materials are warmer than cotton.
kellyjones00 (593)
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Main > Living > Clothing
For coolness: Choose loose, lightweight, and light-coloured clothing.
kellyjones00 (593)
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Main > Living > Clothing
Trousers: Always get trousers with belt-loops, and hip- or behind- pockets. Calf-pockets are annoying when weighted with stuff. The tiny coin-pocket inside hip-pockets is useless. Buttoned flies are easier to repair than zips. Double-buttoned waist-strips are better than single-buttons, as they spread pressure of the full belly. Choose trousers you can jog in comfortably.
kellyjones00 (593)
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Main > Living > Clothing
Shirts: shirts with adjustable collars and cuffs can be worn year-round. Shirts that open all the way down the front can be worn as light jackets in summer.
kellyjones00 (593)
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Main > Living > Clothing
Vest: A sleeveless fleece vest is handy year-round in temperate climates. It can be worn as a bed jacket too. Get one with pockets as an improvement on the old waistcoat.
kellyjones00 (593)
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Main > Living > Clothing
Wet-weather: A full or 3/4 length jacket with hood and neck-tab keeps the rain from soaking most underclothing. Big pockets to fit gloved hands.
kellyjones00 (593)
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Main > Living > Clothing > Shoes
Shoes: Always buy sneakers that are 1/2 a size too small for your foot. When they reach their maximum loosening point, they will fit you like a snug glove. Very comfortable, with no slack. Much better for all kinds of activities: bike riding, gym/running, bushwalking. Your foot should hurt a little for about just over a month but you will then experience a much better shoe for longer than a floppier one that was roomier when you bought it. The larger shoe will feel better but for less time.
Also, many sneakers have built-in waterproof material in the shoe. Always ask. Name brand shoes do tend to be better constructed than the unknown brands - remember that these companies almost do business totally in shoes and have done for decades. They had to have been getting it right to stay in business.
myxlfidian (150)
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Main > Living > Money > Saving money
Psychology of the lock-in: The only surefire way I've found of containing cash loss (and thereby inadvertently maximising savings) is to have several layers of "lock-in" before you can get to your money.
You know Fort Knox where they store all the gold bullion? It doesn't have just one door does it? There's several doors before you get to the money. You need the same thing to protect your finances from theft, otherwise known as wasting money on things you don't need because they are made to appear attractive at the point of sale.
Put all your cash in an interest bearing but non-ATM accessible account. Do not carry cards with you. Create a spreadsheet you modify every day or two that locks in all your cash for a dated future goal (i.e. pay off this credit card by this time). Carry no more than a small amount of cash. If you need to transport large amounts of cash, carry a small locked cash box with a media slot under your seat - store the cash in there en route and unlock when you get home.
The whole point is to create an impression that your money is locked away dollar for dollar well before you can entertain doing anything costly with it.
If money is already marked "reserved", it can't as easily find a strange car parking in its bay.
myxlfidian (150)
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Main > Living > Money > Saving money
A good idea for saving money is to get the habit of doing things for free (that are legal).
kellyjones00 (593)
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