Main > Living > Annoyances > Tele-marketing and surveys
Enter your phone numbers in a national "Do not call" registry:
US: link
Australia: link
[guest]
|
|
|
Main > Living > Annoyances
Contemporary feminism: Encouraging women to unleash their sexuality is stupid. Flooding the mass media with images of women's sexuality only encourages women to see their sexuality as the fullest expression of what a woman is. No sexual interest? No woman. No admirers? No woman. No one else around? No woman.
Try to encourage women to unleash their intelligence!... or is that not their greatest character trait?
kellyjones00 (593)
|
|
|
Main > Living > Annoyances
Murderous Dictators: Murderous dictators are a common annoyance. The best way to get rid of them is to contact the CIA and argue that they have outlived their usefulness.
Diogenes (25)
|
|
|
Main > Living > Annoyances > Noise
Headphones can be used so as not to annoy others with your noise. Headphones can be cordless if necessary.
Kevin Solway (173)
|
|
|
Main > Living > Annoyances
Television Sets: Television sets can be destroyed by blunt force, or they can be dropped from high elevations. Less drastically, the following product will turn off any television set: link
[guest]
|
|
|
Main > Living > Annoyances
Tip: when posting tips at this site, use the "preview" feature first.
Diogenes (25)
|
|
|
Main > Living > Annoyances > Noise
Babies: If you live in an apartment block with thin walls and they put someone with a baby into one of them, get a doctor's certificate that you are being noise stressed to break your lease without penalty. Or offer them a reasonable amount of cash to help them move out.
[guest]
|
|
|
Main > Living > Annoyances > Noise
Neighbour's Loud Televisions: Save money by boring a hole in the wall and watching theirs. First purchase a reliable universal remote control.
Diogenes (25)
|
|
|
Main > Living > Annoyances > Tele-marketing and surveys
Always ask how much they are offering to pay you for your time. If they are being paid to talk to you, then you should be paid to talk to them.
[guest]
|
|
|
Main > Living > Annoyances > Tele-marketing and surveys
Ask for proof that they are who they say they are.
[guest]
|
|
|
Main > Living > Annoyances > Tele-marketing and surveys
When they say "We can save you 30% off your phone bill", answer "Great, go ahead and do it!", and then hang up.
[guest]
|
|
|
Main > Living > Annoyances > Jehovah's witnesses
Ask them how they know for sure that the Bible was written by God and not the Devil.
Kevin Solway (173)
|
|
|
Main > Living > Annoyances
Spam: Australian citizens can use SpamMATTERS, software for Windows Outlook Express, that reports each spam on the press of a button to the Australian Communications and Media Authority (ACMA): link
kellyjones00 (593)
|
|
|
Main > Living > Annoyances > Jehovah's witnesses
Answer the door naked.
Diogenes (25)
|
|
|
Main > Living > Annoyances > Tele-marketing and surveys
Answer the phone but remain perfectly silent for 30 seconds.
Diogenes (25)
|
|
|
Main > Living > Annoyances > Noise
Earplugs, noise-cancelling headphones, or industrial ear muffs can be used to reduce external noise.
Kevin Solway (173)
|
|
|
Main > Living > Annoyances > Noise
Lawn mowers: A four-stroke lawn mower will make less noise than a two-stroke. A manually powered mower, that you push, will make even less noise.
Kevin Solway (173)
|
|
|
Main > Living > Annoyances > Noise
Lawn mowers: A nanny goat will make less noise than a manually-powered mower. She will also quietly turn into milk, clothing, and meat.
kellyjones00 (593)
|
|
|
Main > Living > Annoyances > Noise
Neighbour's Loud Televisions: place a mobile phone/MP3 player as close to the television as possible. Whenever the television is too loud, play your favourite music. The neighbour will soon get the message.
kellyjones00 (593)
|
|
|
Main > Living > Annoyances > Noise
Neighbour's Loud Televisions: if it's on while you're trying to sleep, don't get upset. Use the time to meditate, or think. But you'll need to catch up on missed sleep later.
kellyjones00 (593)
|
|
|
Main > Living > Annoyances > Hazing
Name-calling: don't react. Just focus on the matter at hand.
kellyjones00 (593)
|
|
|
Main > Living > Annoyances > Noise > Noisy sex
Leave a pamphlet in their mailbox about family planning, and how unwanted children often become criminals. This may slowly reduce the frequency and style of mating from high and selfish to medium and thoughtful.
Panoculus (40)
|
|
|
Main > Living > Annoyances
Hitmen: Occasionally, someone might be paid by a mafia syndicate or government agency to kill you. Some people just aren't very nice. The hitman or woman contracted could be anyone. Chuck Barris was the world-famous host of The Gong Show gameshow in the 70s, and doubled as a hitman at night, completing 33 paid kills over a decade. His secret? Whenever anyone saw him they said "Hey Chuck! I saw you last night on TV!" After that, they were cactus.
myxlfidian (150)
|
|
|
Main > Living > Annoyances > Tele-marketing and surveys
Charity organisations: I hate to say this but "Buyer Beware". When you give once, they will call usually every few weeks. If you hate that kind of regular pestering, consider saying you are late to go to a job interview or something to get out of the first call. If they think you don't have a job, you won't be top of their list, and if you have to go to something that important, there's no way they can hold you back.
myxlfidian (150)
|
|
|
Main > Living > Annoyances > Jehovah's witnesses
Say "Can you please just put me on the list of people whose houses you don't go to anymore?"
myxlfidian (150)
|
|
|
Main > Living > Annoyances > Tele-marketing and surveys
Say you are busy right now but if you give me your home number I'll call you back. When they say they can't do that say "So you don't like people calling you at home?" When they say no, say "Well now you know how I feel!" and hang up.
myxlfidian (150)
|
|
|
Main > Living > Annoyances > Liars, conmen
It is certain of the "pathological liar" that he nearly "has no memory" at all. (Weininger)
kellyjones00 (593)
|
|
|
Main > Living > Annoyances > Jehovah's witnesses
You cannot reason with a Jehovah's witness. They are very simple-minded people with simple values: be calm, believe in God, be happy, everyone can believe what they like, thinking gets you nowhere, truth is what you make it.
kellyjones00 (593)
|
|
|
Main > Living > Annoyances > Liars, conmen
There is nothing more shocking for a man than when he, catching a woman in a lie, asks her: "Why do you lie?" and then must observe how she does not even understand this question and, without
comprehending, gapes at him, or smilingly seeks to calm him - or even breaks out in tears. (Weininger)
kellyjones00 (593)
|
|
|
